When You're Snapping at Your Kids and Can't Remember the Last Time Someone Asked How You're Doing

You did it again.

You snapped at your kid over something small. Maybe it was the shoes left in the hallway for the third time today, or the eye roll and sigh, or the question asked while you were already trying to do four things at once. And now you're lying awake replaying it, feeling terrible, promising yourself tomorrow will be different.

If this sounds familiar, you're not failing at parenting. Most parents I work with aren't struggling because of a lack of trying or willingness to learn new techniques. They're struggling because they have too many legitimate demands on their time and energy and their expectations don’t allow for the reality of how hard this season is when your kids, partner, job and aging parents need you. 

You're dealing with genuinely overwhelming circumstances that would drain anyone. And somewhere in there, you're supposed to take care of yourself too. Plus when you’re trying to keep it all together, you give off the vibe that you’ve got it. Which means no one is asking how you are actually doing.

Understanding Life Transitions

What Actually Helps

Therapy for overwhelmed parents starts with a safe space to say all the things you think but would not tell anyone. It’s a time you don’t have to perform or wear a mask. It’s time where the therapist who is not in your family or friend circle can listen without judgment to how you are truly feeling and the things that are most concerning you right now.

Therapy can focus on practical strategies for right now:

Identifying what's most bothersome. Just start with one area that feels the loudest right now. Is it how to deal with your child’s tantrums, managing work expectations, lack of sleep or changes in your body as you age? We figure out what's actually taking the biggest toll so you're not trying to fix everything at once (which is paralyzing).

Calling out impossible expectations. It’s so easy to make a mental list of all the shoulds. Breaking the “should” habit is really challenging but in the end one of the biggest gifts you can give your family, coworkers and yourself. When you're overwhelmed, everything feels equally critical. We work on identifying what's truly necessary and how good done has to be.

Processing the guilt. The guilt of feeling you are failing in any area of your life is such a heavy burden. Through therapy we work to check the facts around thoughts and feelings and determine how to respond to the right data. 

If This Sounds Like You

You don't need someone telling you to try harder or manage your time better. You need someone who gets it and can help you move from surviving to feeling good about how you’re living.

I offer a free 20-minute consultation where we can talk about what's going on for you right now and figure out if working together makes sense. No pressure, no obligation.

Schedule a consultation HERE

About the Author:

Joni Lamb, LCSW, has over 20 years of experience helping adults navigate overwhelming life transitions. She specializes in supporting overwhelmed parents, young adults, and adults living with chronic illness through practical, no-nonsense therapy. Based in Evanston, IL, Joni offers telehealth therapy throughout Illinois and Colorado via Joni Lamb Therapy, PLLC.